My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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