So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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