it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
