ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
