I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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