You can't motorboat a personality
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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