yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
