i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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