im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
