That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
