it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
