Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
