He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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