I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
