dude i'm inner monologue high
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
