Will you blow on my dice?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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