Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
