do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
