I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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