she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
