I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
