I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
