dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
