We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
