the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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