I heard we made out
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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