i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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