In the future we'll all be gay
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
vagina is talking i cant
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
