There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
