Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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