You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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