sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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