One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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