do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You made out with two different species that night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So apparently I’m into choking now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
