I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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