i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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