I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm at about main and main street
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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