What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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