If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize