So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
