My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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