Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I need to stop coming to work sober
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
