She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
