I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
