so that wasnt chicken after all
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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