maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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