He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
