I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
