also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize