I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
