Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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