I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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