My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
