whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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