I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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