quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
