I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I currently don't understand fingers.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
