3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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