Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize