I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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