They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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