just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
