need another drink. this is the easiest way
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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