i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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