Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
