let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
