Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she peed on how many people?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
