My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and she was petting her beer can
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
