She is in my trunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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