C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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