Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
