if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
