I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
