i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
