Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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